Before you attempt to first approach this topic with your loved one, we suggest beginning by researching as much about the different types of senior living in your area as well as the levels of care they can provide. Always try to keep in mind that this transition in their life could cause some reservations due to fear and uncertainty, do your best to reassure them often and remain patient when discussing this topic.

How to Approach Your Parents About Senior Living

Senior housing characteristics can differ somewhat from state to state, so be sure to research options in the state where your parent lives or may wish to relocate eventually. Learn about your parent’s financial situation and their options for paying for their care. For example, ask if they have purchased long-term care insurance.

If a parent is a veteran, inquire about their military service to see if they could be eligible for veterans’ benefits to help pay for long-term care. If you bring solid information to the table instead of speculation, everyone will be able to base their decisions on facts and avoid unnecessary surprises.
Some elders are tightlipped about their finances, so this piece of the puzzle can be tricky. Try emphasizing that you need to have an idea of what they can afford in order to be able to provide for their wishes and needs.

Make future plans a topic of ongoing discussion.
Broaching this subject early on while elders are still able to live safely in the community gives you the opportunity to discuss the future in a non-threatening, hypothetical way.
Have the conversation in a casual, comfortable spot, like at the kitchen table. Start by saying, “I know this is hard to talk about, but I want to be sure that I honor your wishes. For me to do that, I need to know exactly what they are. We don’t have to decide anything today, but let’s just start the discussion, so we can keep this in mind and focus on preparing for the future.”

Promise to keep seniors involved in decisions.
Everyone wants to be able to choose where they live and the kind of care they receive. Age does not change this preference. If they are healthy enough to do so, ask your parents to join you in touring senior living communities or going to visit friends and relatives who have already made the move. Seeing these settings firsthand, getting a feel for how they function and speaking with current residents candidly about their experiences will help immensely when it comes to making a decision.

Recognize why seniors want to stay at home.
They may be unprepared to have their relationship with you change and fear losing their independence as well. Keeping their concerns in mind during these discussions will help you answer their questions and respond to their objections tactfully. Discuss ways they can remain living in their house longer, such as hiring in-home care or attending adult day programs. Emphasize that a move to assisted living does not mean they’ll no longer have control over their daily life. After settling in, most seniors find that they have more free time for the things they actually enjoy doing because the housekeeping, laundry, and meals are taken care of.